Someone close to you has hurt you greatly. The pain stung like a knife to the chest and lingers there like a reoccurring nightmare. Every waking hour, you think about what they did to you and the anger ignites again, burning brighter and more potently with every passing moment.
The Hurt Before the Heal
At times, the pain of their betrayal brings you t tears and other times, it leads you to destruction! Perhaps vengeance has crossed your mind or harsh words have been exchanged, but whether the anger lashes out or builds up inside you. However, every moment you keep ahold, regardless of your method of coping, it is only hurting you further.
Hate and anger only destroys, it never creates, but it is always spawning, because a lot of the time, being angry is easier than being happy. However, when you are fuming and spewing ager out of your aura, you are affecting your environment. Sending negative vibes into the world will only come back around to hurt you, even if the cause of your anger is justified.
Anger leads to depression, high blood pressure and an all-around worse state of mind and body. The stresses of being angry and holding a grudge will lead to serious health problems.
Therefore, by forgiving those who have wronged you, you are actually improving the quality of your own life.
How to Begin to Forgive
To truly forgive, you must really feel the forgiveness. You cannot half-heartedly forgive or the resentment that comes with the initial grievance will stay with you forever.
So, first, in order to really begin to forgive, you need to express to that person the depth which they hurt you and not by calling them names or throwing bricks through their window. Your first step is to talk to them and let it all out. Let them know why you are hurt. In some cases, it may be unclear, but even if the issue is obvious, it is still important for them to hear it and understand it from you.
The next step, after you have aired your grievances, is to actively listen to the other person and try to sympathize with their point of view. This does not mean that you have to agree with everything that they say, just make an effort to look at the situation differently.
Realistically, you cannot stay mad at them forever and that is important for everyone involved to understand. After you calm down and after you get it out, a new wave of emotion will overtake you.
This emotion will be nostalgic. You will miss them and even want them back in your life. It is at this time, that you must let yourself feel the nostalgia overcome you. You must denounce the thoughts of hatred because this new feeling is your body telling you that you are ready to let go of the anger and move forward. If negativity disrupts this process, it will just start over again and you will never heal.
Once you’ve gotten over your initial anger and you are ready to let go, you must mentally prepare yourself for the act of complete forgiveness. Some of the ways those facilities this preparation include simple breathing exercises and meditation. This preparation will connect you with your inner-self and help you to achieve inner-peace.
Finding inner peace you will enhance the relationship you have with yourself and help you to attain closure. If you maintain a strong relationship with yourself, maintaining a good relationship with others will occur naturally to you; that includes forgiveness.
As Gandhi said, “Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”
Forgiveness is the hardest lesson we learn but one of the most rewarding..