The feeling of happiness seems to be in the past now. A distant memory. Your heart is broken, your soul is crushed. You are going through a breakup. So, you sit alone at home where so many good memories resided and they seem to be suffocating you. Regardless of the reasons behind your breakup, the memories still haunt you like a ghost of a former self. It is in this moment, while you sitting there, with your phone turned off because you’re afraid they may call and even more afraid that they won’t that you must make a choice; are you going to be lonely, or just alone?
Choosing to be lonely implies a sense of desolate desperation; severing you from the world by force. To be lonely implicates you and condemns you in your choice to allow that relationship status to rule you.
Loneliness incurs a negative energy, from which it takes a great deal of willpower to overcome. If you are lonely, you are sad, depressed and forlorn. You tend to look at the world through a “what if” lens that revolves around a solitary person or circumstance. What if I had given them more space? What if I hadn’t said that? What if I told them how I truly feel? What if…
What ifs only feed the hunger for which loneliness yearns. The past is the past. What is done is done. By truly accepting that fact and looking forward to what life has in store for your future, whether it is five minutes from now, or five years, is what will give you the strength to be alone.
Choosing to be alone implies independence. You are your own self. You do not have to answer to anyone. If you want to go out, just grab your keys, if you do no return home, no one will hold it against you. Choosing to be alone is the strength that allows you to get on with your life. Being alone is the implicit understanding that you are in charge of your own life.
Being alone gives you a chance to get to know the real you. To be alone gives you the freedom to form your own preferences, make your own schedule and take a risk that being in a relationship may have held you back from.
Just because one is alone does not mean that they must inevitably be lonely. Far from it! To be alone, to truly have the confidence in yourself to be alone, may actually enhance your life!
So many people are so afraid of being alone, because they feel loneliness is looming just around the corner. When they think about being alone, they feel the walls caving in and the whole world turning against them as they shrink from existence into oblivion.
Forget oblivion and forget loneliness. Loneliness is only for the weak of spirit. You are strong and your heart will not allow you to be lonely. There is not a soul on earth that did not come to this crossroads in their life at one point or another. Their decision to be lonely or alone one of the biggest self-actualizing moments of their entire life and they may not have even realized it.
So when you find yourself faced with this fork in the road with lonely leading quickly to a dead-end and alone leading down a path that may be longer, but far more rewarding, will you succumb to the loneliness or be strong enough to be alone?.